Fashion Curmudgeon

Am I becoming a skiing curmudgeon when I shake my head in apparent disgust at certain ski fashions? The one that has been irritating me like an ill fitting ski boot is the fully unzipped ski parka look that seems popular with many of the younger crowd hanging out in the terrain park.

I’m not sure why it is bugging me so much, but it is. I mean the pants that look like they should fit Fat Albert but are being worn by Pee-Wee Herman don’t bug me, although I do find myself wondering what they’d look like if they ever tried to do a spread eagle or a daffy.

The studio sized headphones that some wear over their acrylic pom-pom hats don’t bug me, although I am curious if it is that they like the sound performance, or they wanted to have headphones big enough that they could put stickers on them.

I’m even ok with the skiing around with your hands down by your boot tops, I mean I used to have a poster on my wall of Rob Boyd catching air with his hands down by his boot tops. Of course that was a poster of Boyd shot during a downhill where he was going about 80 miles per hour and he was trying to keep his chest from catching air and causing him to wreck.

Heck I’m even ok with the kids who complain the park isn’t groomed out on a powder day, well that’s just me being selfish as it means that they are all over in the park trying to pack down the in-runs while I get a better shot at my favorite powder line in the woods.

But the fully unzipped parka just irks me. Maybe it’s because it brings out the Dad in me and I want to yell at them to zip up their coat so they don’t get cold. Maybe it’s because I’m not a NJ Nets or LA Clippers fan and the unzipped jacked shows off their NBA team of choice, and it seems to rarely be the Celtics. Maybe it’s because if they aren’t wearing an NBA jersey it’s because then I have to look at a cotton t-shirt that has more X’s in the size then the Roman numeral for thirty. Maybe it’s because I often see those who sport this fashion skiing straight down the mountain to the park and I would rather see them make turns to control their speed than use their unzipped coats as some sort of primitive parachute. Or maybe it’s because I hear them complain about being cold while they are in line for the lift, and I’m sitting their thinking- “you’re wearing a $600 down parka- zip it up and you won’t be cold.”

The reality is that it irks me because I don’t get it. I’ve gotten to the point where I no longer “get” the fashion of the day. It irks me because now I understand why my Dad thought it was so stupid that I’d buy flannel shirts a size too big so that I could pile on enough clothing so that I could ski in a flannel shirt and fleece vest, even though it was -10 degrees outside.

At the end of the day, however, they are out their skiing and having fun. So despite being a curmudgeon I can look at them and shake my head in exasperation, but I do it with a smile.